I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
