dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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