Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
