im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
