if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
