Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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