Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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