Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize