Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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