whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
