Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
