***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
