I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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