is your mom at the bar?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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