Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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