At least make sure they are 18
Why
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize