dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
