I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
