oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
