And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
