update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
