i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize