SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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