Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize