I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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