bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
MIDGETS
????
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
