I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
