I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
