dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
