He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
