Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
