May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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