The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
