don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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