I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
