talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
