Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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