Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
