He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
