I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Green mimosas i think yes
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
