What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
