Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My life is pants optional.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
