Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
