Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
