Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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