sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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