thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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