Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
