Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
