Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
