I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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