Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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