Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
