we're blogging at a bar
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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