He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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