she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
