Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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