last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I fill condoms, not promises.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
