Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
