Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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