Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
